Humorous Smilies

[IceWizard]

Senior Moments














































Trippin
https://i.imgur.com/STiba79.mp4

[Charon]

     

[IceWizard]

What is worse than the Corona Virus?

https://v.redd.it/m1d720f991r71/DASH_360.mp4


When you just gotta GO!!

https://v.redd.it/bx5u2po9amq71/DASH_480.mp4

[Charon]

   

   

   

   

[IceWizard]

A priest was making the rounds of his parish on a bicycle when
he came upon a small boy trying to sell a lawnmower.

"How much do you want for the mower?"
asked the priest.

"I’m just trying to make enough money to buy a bicycle,"
said the boy.

After a moment of consideration, the priest suggested:
"How about taking my bicycle in trade for it?"

The boy said:
"You’ve got a deal."

The priest took the mower and tried to start it.

He pulled on the rope a few times,
but the mower refused to respond.

In frustration he called the boy over and said:
"I can’t get this mower to start!"

The boy said:
"That’s because you have to swear at it to get it started."

The priest was shocked.
"I’m a man of the church. I can’t curse and swear.
In fact, it’s been so long since my salvation that I
don’t know if I could even remember how to swear.!"

The boy smiled at him and said:
"Just keeping pulling on that rope.
It’ll come back to ya!"

[Charon]

[IceWizard]

Name the baby

During my wife's labor,
the nurse came up to us and said,
"How about Epidural Anaesthesia?"

I said,
"Thanks, but we've already picked a name."


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My crush just sneezed and I accidentally replied "Bless you !"

Now she's staring at the bush,
wondering who said that.


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A Texas Bar

A Texas Bar A bearded Arab, a Mexican, and a cute Texas blonde babe were in the same
Texas bar last week:

When the Mexican finishes his Mexican beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his
stolen unregistered pistol from his pocket, and shoots the glass to pieces...

He says,
"In Mexico ,our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice."

The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks a glass of O’Douls Amber, 
a non-alcohol beer(cuz he's a muslim!),throws the glass into the air, pulls out
his concealed AK-47 from under his robe, and shoots the glass to pieces...

He says,
"In the Arab World we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to
drink with the same one twice either."

The cute Texas blonde picks up her frosty glass of Budweiser, downs it in one gulp,
throws  the glass into the air, whips out her Colt 45 from her holster, and shoots
both the Mexican and the Arab dead.

Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says,
"Honey, in Texas we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.

[IceWizard]

Little Johnny

So, old Johnny goes into the car showroom
and finds the car he wants to buy:

Old Johnny asks the salesman not sell the particular
model till the next day, since he wants to buy it on his birthday.

The salesman gives his word.

The next day Johnny goes back to the showroom
only to find the car being sold to a gorgeous young lady.

Old Johnny pulls over the salesman and says.
"I asked you to keep this car on hold for me.
Not only didn't you keep your word, I see you also
sold it to that lady at a discounted rate."

The salesman replies.
"She insisted to buy only this car, and with a discount.
Look how beautiful she is? How could I say no to her?"

The young lady interrupts them and
walks up to old Johnny and gives the car keys to him.

She smiles at the salesman, then turns back to old Johnny and says.
"Didn't I tell you they'd give me a discount?

"Happy birthday Dad!"

[Charon]

[Charon]