Humorous Smilies

[Linville]

[IceWizard]

Popster ... That is freakin funny stuff there!!!

[IceWizard]

A few for the 'ole Timers

My wife complained I never give her surprises any more.

I've put party poppers in her tampon box
that may work.

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Wife: - "I didn't know that our house used to
be haunted."

Me:- "Nor me, are you sure?"

Wife: - "Well there's a letter here saying it's
being repossessed."

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Mr. Johnson had been waiting entirely too
long at the doctor's office.

His appointment was for 9:00 and it was nearly 10:30.

Finally, an attractive nurse appeared at the waiting room door and said, "Let's go get a room." "

Honey, I appreciate the offer," he said, "but
I've been waiting so long I'd hate to lose my
spot now!"

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I was so relieved when my missus finally took our screaming baby to the Baby Change area.

Then so disappointed when she came back
with the same one.

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My wife has left me because she says I treat
her like one of my pets...

She'll be back when she's hungry.

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Every now and then I like to learn a new
swear word.

So I park in front of my neighbour's driveway.

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My wife called me.

She said, "Don't you just love it when you
buy one and get one free?"

"Yes," I replied. "Are you at the shops?"

She said, "No, I just gave birth to twins."

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2 blondes talking. One says to the other,
''I've just taken a pregnancy test''.

The other replies, ''were the questions hard?''

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Confucius Say....

Kiss is merely shopping upstairs
For real merchandise downstairs.


Better to lose a lover
Than love a loser.


Man with broken condom
Often called Daddy


Drunken man's words
Often sober man's thoughts.


Viagra just like Disneyland ......
One hour wait for 2-minute ride.


Much better to want the mate you do not have
Than to have the mate you do not want.


Joke is just like sex.
Neither any good if you don't get it.


Man who make love on kitchen table
Often get a$$ in jam.

[Popster]

ice....those are funny.....

   

   

[Acmilan171]

[Popster]

This guy is really talented!

   

   

   

   

[IceWizard]

Some of those types of street atrtists really are gifted... Those are great examples of that....

[IceWizard]

Who actually designs this stuff?








Australian Love Poem

Of course I love ya darlin
You're a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word.

So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin' there to grab.

So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there.

No Sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best.

I'm tellin' ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think it’s very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs.

I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get.

No matter what u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the cricket’s on
And fetch another beer..

(kinda brings a lump to ya throat dunnit?)


Really?!



A Blonde Joke

A blonde gets home from work early and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.
"Oh my God, what's up?" she asks.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mummy, Mummy, Aunty Shirley is hiding in the closet and she has no clothes on"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom.

Goes right past her husband....rips open the closet door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
"You rotten Bitch", she screams, "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!"

[willie33]

[Linville]

Ice
Willie33
Acmilan171
Popster
very funny posts, some even, real funny