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I spent way too long trying to think of a clever title. by that - TVNerd - 02-10-2017
Hi!
Okay. Right out the gate, I'm gonna apologize- I have, over the course of my lifetime, become aware that I can be, er, somewhat verbose. I'm kind of socially awkward and I can get excited when I have information to contribute and I want to make *sure* that's I get my point across effectively... so I have the tendency to ramble. Please feel free to just tell me, "shut up, nerd," and I will do my best to repackage whatever information I have in a more streamlined/less annoying way.
...This particular post, however, might be a little bit packed with information, because I spent about 24 hours straight lurking and checking out welcome threads and I saw a bunch of stuff I thought was neat, so you're basically my captive, or something.
OKAY. SO. When I was four years old, my parents traded off sleeping in shifts, because by that point, I was only sleeping about five hours a night, at most. Then, when I was in 4th grade, I started sleepwalking- my mom says she thinks it's because I had a really horrible teacher that year. THAT was when s*** really started to get f****d up. (Um, also, i curse a lot? And I'm not really used to censoring myself, but I'm not sure if that is frowned upon here or not, so until I am sure that my language will not offend.) I have not been able to achieve anywhere close to a healthy sleep cycle since, without medication. I have, at some point in my life, been prescribed every single medication approved for sleep by the FDA, as well as many off-label- again, prescribed. The only one that I found any sort of success with at all was Ambien, and when I started taking it both the drug and I were very young. I am under the assumption that they didn't know much about it yet, because I have a hard time believing that you would be able to walk into a pediatrician's office with a ten-year-old and walk out with a thirty day supply of zolpidem- and ZERO counseling on possible dependency. I think that might have messed me up BAD- to my knowledge, I have not been able to achieve any sort of restful sleep cycle without medication since. It's kind of weird, though. Other people talk about insomnia like it's so miserable, and awful, and they feel like s**t all the time, but for me it's like my body just doesn't know it's supposed to be tired. It IS, obviously, but I will often go 5 or 6 days with no sleep and start to show signs of extreme sleep deprivation physically before I ever feel sleepy in the slightest.
Also, when I was 12, I met my psychiatrist, and he diagnosed me pretty quickly with depression. So we tried LOTS of different therapists, lots of different pharmaceuticals- ultimately, we settled on Wellbutrin, and Seroquil in the evenings (which, blessedly, helps me stay asleep longer, since the zolpidem has gotten to the point where I will fall asleep and only be able to stay asleep for three hours or so, but with Seroquil I tend to not be able to wake up the next morning, so it's six to one and half dozen to the other).
When I was a teenager, I started seeing a pain management doctor for back pain that we couldn't diagnose- but there was an incidental finding of an Arnold Chiari malformation, and one month when I went in my doctor was out sick and the guy who was subbing for him happened to be a neurosurgeon. He told me that he had heard of people with what seemed like phantom back pain be relieved by an elective brain surgery to correct the malformation, which- while I won't say /botched/, exactly- went very very poorly for me.
After a few years of consideration (and, to be quite frank, a six month period in which my psychiatric symptoms became so bad that I did not go outside a single time- it got so bad that my parents convinced my psychiatrist, head of psych for a major hospital in our area, to make /house calls/), I decided that I no longer wanted to be under the constraint of needing narcotic pain medication (at the time, Vicodin and then Percocet), which I had been taking roughly four years. I was twenty.
Instead of the anticipated one week hospital stay and one month home recovery, I wound up spending 14 days in the ICU and six weeks in the hospital, and seven months recuperating before I was well enough to actually continue to live my life. But the surgery had done nothing whatsoever to help the back pain that led me to narcotics in the first place- and it took what was a regular headache that occurred every six to eight weeks and put my pain at about an eight- which would pretty much mean an entire day laid in a dark, cool room, achieving nothing but converting O2 to CO2- to a DAILY headache that, on good days, hovers just above a six. Seemingly at random, it can ramp up to an eight (if God is really mad at me that month, a nine), and I pretty much just have to buckle down and grit through it- I take Fioricet for the extra bad ones, and sometimes it can stave it off, but only if I catch it in time. And, due to years of opiate dependency due to pain (and one extremely ill-advised 17 months spent on Suboxone as a pain management tool), my tolerance became extremely high. To be honest, I require so much medication to get through the day, it really bums me out to think about, and it certainly makes other people extremely nervous. I seem to require high doses of everything, actually- but I am also not at all small, standing at 5'9" weighing in around 230- and I have been on everything I take for a long-a** time now. But, contrary to what my medicine cabinet would seem to indicate, I am still very young. And, truthfully, that is more of a bummer than anything else- because I truly suffer every single day. I do not feel like I am living at all, simply marking time for the next 60 years. God, that sounds awful.
Um, okay, on a brighter, less deeply personal note, I love to read and write and I am /wildly/ passionate about television. (Films, take 'em or leave 'em. But tv? I am legitimately advising you not to get me started talking about the NBC show Community unless you are prepared to talk for HOURS and hear lots of jokes repeated and discuss characters, plots, and episodes in depth. Seriously. You will get annoyed with me.) I tend to get attached to lighthearted but witty comedies- preferably in half-hour blocks. For a while, I LIVED for NBC Thursday nights, because they had the dream team of Parks & Recreation, The Office, and Community.
I've wanted to work in television since I was a little kid, and late last year I got an unexpected offer to work full-time as a Production Assistant (which I will probably just refer to as 'PA', because I'm lazy af) on a sitcom of a major broadcast network for the rest of the season. I was going to be an employee of production's, but it was understood that I was to be responsible for taking care of anything the aging, B-list, British lead actress wanted. She had a reputation of being "difficult", as stars often do when they are facing the downhill slope of their career and trying to scramble backwards, and she had begun to make pretty much everyone on set miserable with her constant demands and horrible tempers when she didn't get what she was unreasonably requesting. They approached her with the idea of hiring someone to take care of her needs, and she agreed that it sounded wonderful. They hired me, I flew from my home penis-shaped state out to LA, and immediately fell absolutely in love with being on set.
Apparently, the actress in question objected to the fact that she had not been more intimately consulted in whom they hired for my job- when, truthfully, I was the only person they could find that was willing, since I was desperate to break into the industry. She wasn't pleased, and right after lunch on my very first day, she fired me. For being attentive to her needs. Her stand-in, with whom she's worked for years, assured me that it was NOT a commentary on me, or the job I had done, or anything at all about me; she was simply making a statement to production to make it clear that she was unhappy and they needed to acknowledge that she was in charge.
So... yep. My Hollywood career lasted a record seven hours.
Okay, I feel like that's enough to get the ball rolling. See what I meant, with the rambling?
RE: I spent way too long trying to think of a clever title. by that - Charon - 02-10-2017
Welcome TV nerd. You must realize this: my sister was past pres of three NYC hospitals. Two others she created to study women and autoimmunes.
But, i received wisdom from her. One does not go to a neurologist whom specializes in surgery because he will push that surgery until u give in. It is how he makes money.
Marking time is not living, really. You can make a tremendous difference in other people's lives, even from within your home.
I am disabled with no hope of recovery and so I have run forums for others also chronically ill. Getting close to quarter of a century now.
It may not be in television however.
You will find your way, my friend. The rules: http://ioplist.org/showthread.php?tid=1
I look forward to your posts and to hearing how u plan to take ahold of life once more. And, live it to the fullest.
It is possible. Life is so fleeting. Don't waste it.
RE: I spent way too long trying to think of a clever title. by that - TVNerd - 02-10-2017
Thanks, Charon. I gotta be honest, I've been creeping without an account for a while, and I think you're awesome. I saw you telling someone off in a vendor's forum and you said something along the lines of, "the people here are my family and my guests. Do not be rude to them." I was like, "oh, yep, okay. I'm in."
You're totally right about going to see a neurosurgeon, though. But the guy that initially suggested surgery to me was no longer a practicing surgeon- he had pretty much retired, but was seeing patients in place of my regular doctor, who'd had a sudden heart attack. When I went in for the appointment, I wasn't even aware I would be seeing someone different- so I don't know if I went seeking a neurosurgeon's opinion. From there, I saw a regular neurologist, who then referred me to my eventual surgeon. The reason I had bad effects wasn't something I think they could have foreseen- at least, no doctor or patient I've talked to can tell me what might indicate a predilection for my comorbidities in preoperative patients, it's just one of those "slice them open and see" kind of things. I don't blame my surgeon- just myself. I didn't know, at the time, that it was my job to do lots of research about my diagnosis and possible treatments- I thought, "okay, these people went to medical school, I did not, I trust their opinions," and I made what felt like but actually was not an informed decision. I know better now- that whole hindsight thing.
I so appreciate you for sharing that you manage forums for other chronically ill patients (I hear them- us- referred to a lot as "spoonies", but I don't know how I feel about that) and that life can be meaningful even when you're sick. Made me a little emotional, truthfully.
Uh, so, I know that the 50 initial posts are meant as more of a "prove yourself/get to know us" sort of period before you start asking questions, but I am BRAND NEW to iop- never done it ever- and I have two questions that I would kind of like answered now, if that's not out of line.
What can I do, if anything, to protect and help YOU guys? Like I said, I'm a n00b, and I'm worried I won't be an asset or- worse- that I'll be a problem. I have scoured the rules, and will make sure to double-check them before I make a new post, but... is there anything I might need to know that I risk passing over?
Also, uh, you guys sort of have your own language- and I get why! And I support it! And some of it I've managed to sort of figure out, but I was wondering if there was like some kind of... dictionary I could use, or something? Like, is there a good website where I can look up some of the abbreviations that you guys are using, or what the common nomenclature is for brand names? Because that whole 'not-googleable' thing makes total sense to me, but also has left me a little baffled during some of my creeping.
RE: I spent way too long trying to think of a clever title. by that - Charon - 02-10-2017
Let me PM to u my email address. Please include your screen name as I get many. many.
I just lost my niece to lupus two days ago, so, I may take a tad bit to respond.
But, u may ask me, sir. No problem.
I am privileged and honored to have u here.
It was not ur fault. It was no one's fault that u had the surgery. It was all part of plan to help make you the person u are meant to me.
You are too kind. If you see another poster giving up payment info on a vendor or such, please just hit notify mod button. Actually, it says, "Report."
Either I, or my mods will see it and handle it. Edit it.
Bless your heart. We shall help you out as u have an open and good spirit. (I am an attorney but also a minister. That is why I do forums for others. I cannot do much else being homebound. But, I can help others with prayer and kindness and knowledge. And, we provide a place wherein you may express your feelings. Be protected against ne'er do wells. And, meet some of the finest people on Earth.)
Let me PM you, k?
RE: I spent way too long trying to think of a clever title. by that - TVNerd - 02-10-2017
Thank you! I got your PM and shot you a note already, with my name in the subject line. I so, so appreciate what you guys do around here- I know how much of an uphill battle it is for you guys to keep members from making careless mistakes, out of the good of your heart and your desire for people's health and protection.
Also, just for the record, I'm a lady.
I know the email address I have attached to this account doesn't look like it (I'm assuming you can see that?) but I just used a random name for the forum registration. I emailed you on my actual account.
RE: I spent way too long trying to think of a clever title. by that - Charon - 02-10-2017
A lady it is. My apologies. But, even though my real pics were all over the internet via hacking, I still get called a man because I am strong. Some just assume that anyone whom is strong, is a male.
I did base it on your email. Now, I shan't forget. Lovely email, btw.
RE: I spent way too long trying to think of a clever title. by that - Mad Max - 02-10-2017
Welcome TVNerd , the the forum.
It is good to have you. Looks like you are off to a good start!
I still have some reading to do on your first post.
We have several great interactive threads for you to get to know members.
Hope you and advantage of them.
Something for everyone I would think
Oh TVNerd I am going to post this for you again because in your first post you asked a question that can be answered reading the rules.
No worries Ok.
Board Rules
http://ioplist.org/showthread.php?tid=1
RE: I spent way too long trying to think of a clever title. by that - TVNerd - 02-10-2017
Thank you Max! I'm excited to be here!
Was it the cursing? I promise, I read the rules half a dozen times, but I wasn't really sure if "foul language" was meant, as, like, cussing, or if it meant like being foul to your fellow members, attitude-wise... so if that's what it was, I do apologize, and I will (do my very very best to) watch my mouth.
If it was something else, do you mind dropping me a PM? 'Cause I'm just missing something, comprehension-wise.
But thank you for helping create a community where I- and so many other people- can come and find information and support. Truly great.
RE: I spent way too long trying to think of a clever title. by that - Mad Max - 02-10-2017
TVNerd you are going to be just fine !
Welcome to you enjoy yourself . Thank you for being so responsive .
I will PM you
RE: I spent way too long trying to think of a clever title. by that - TVNerd - 02-11-2017
Actually, I'm really glad you mentioned responsiveness- I saw it mentioned in one post, in advice to one specific person, that they should only post 5 times a day. Does that go for everybody?